Written by: Sabeen Sheikh Abid
“Emotional abuse is the silent and constant practice of our society. It demonstrates a lack of awareness and does not highlight in society as a real problem”
Feeling insulted and wounded, never measuring up. Walking on eggshells. If these statements are describing your feelings .it is likely you are being emotionally abused. In generally emotional abused when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words and bullying behaviours that wear down a person ‘s self-esteem and undermine the mental health. Emotional abuse is one of the hardest forms of abuse to recognize. It can be subtle and insidious or covert and manipulative. Either way its chip away at the victim ‘s self- esteem and they begin to doubt their perceptions and reality. When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victim may lose their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single mark or bruise. The underlying goal in emotional abuse is to control the victim by discrediting, isolation and silencing.
“Emotional abuse is often covert and subtle. As a result, it can be very hard to detect”
“Emotional buse is intentional act”
In the end the victim feels trapped and they are often too wounded to endure their self-image. Instead, the wounds are in visible to others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness and self-loathing. In fact, research indicates that he consequences of emotional abuse are severe than physical abuse. Emotionally abused people are often worry about how people truthy see them and if they truly like them, that’s why eventually, victim will back and isolate themselves, convinced that no one likes them. Emotional abuse is any abusive behaviour that is not physical which may include verbal aggression ,intimidation, manipulation and humiliation, which most often unfolds as a pattern of behaviour over time that aim to diminish another person’s sense of identity, dignity and self-worth, and which often result in anxiety ,depression, suicidal thoughts, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Emotional abuse is often associated with situation of power imbalance, include bullying, gaslighting. It is also may be perpetrated by torture, violence and prolong human rights abuse. Also including rumours, humiliating statements and false extreme defamation in group or society. Most people know what physical abuse is, but when it comes to emotional abuse, people tend to think there ‘s much more of a “grey area”. Sometimes, people wonder whether “abuse “is the right term to describe any difficulties they’re going through.
Sign of Emotional abuse
Withhold of love, affection and caring attitude.
Giving the silent treatment.
Humiliating or spreading rumours.
Making the person subject to jokes or using sarcasm to hurt the person.
Blaming and being made to feel guilty.
intimidation and threads.
Not recognize a person’s own personality / individuality.
Pushing person to hard and fail to be recognizing person limitations.
Intentionally expose a person to upsetting events or situations.
Never say anything kind and expressing positive feeling.
Never showing any emotions, interaction also known emotional neglect, being emotionally cold.
Isolate by bulling
Derogatory remarks, character assassination.
There are number of myths and misconceptions that surround emotional abuse. For instance ,some people believe that emotional abuse is merely another term for verbal abuse .It is true that emotional abuse does often include verbal abuse ,but it can involve nonverbal and other nonphysical form of abuse for example being ignored, withhold of love affection. Another misconception is emotional abuse always carrying by stranger, but the researches shows emotional abuse is mostly done by family and it happens in other close relationships.
“Emotional abuse is likely to make the recipient shoulder all the blame”
“The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse”
Ways to deal with Emotional abuse
The first step in dealing with an emotional abuse to recognize that is happening. If you were able to identify any aspect of emotional abuse, it is important to acknowledge that first and foremost. By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take control of your life again. Stop worrying about pleasing the person. Take care of your needs. Do something that will help you think positive and affirm who you are. Also, be sure to get an appropriate amount of rest and eat healthy. These simple self -care steps can go a long way in helping you deal with a day -to -day stresses of emotional abuse. Establish firm boundaries. Stop blaming yourself. Abuse is choice. So, stop blaming yourself for something you have no control over. Realize that you cannot “fix”. Remind yourself that you can not control their actions and that you are not to blame for their choices. The only thing you can fix, or control is your response. Do not engage with an abusive person. Build a support network. Stop being silent about the abuse. Talk to trusted friend, family member or even counsellor.
Why society can no longer afford to turn a blind eye to emotional and mental abuse, or why do we turn a blind eye to emotional abuse? It is really none of our business. But we shake, shiver and shrill in horror at the obvious result of emotional abuse. So now it’s our business, for as a society we have failed to recognize such a serious problem, which has constant silent practice of our society. I believe that it is society dismissive attitude towards emotional abuse. I see no other in -road to tackling these issues apart from talking openly about experiences and refusing to turn a blind eye. why are we so impacted by this eventuality? How do turn a blind eye to the elaborate and embossed makeup that covers our current society issues and violate human rights. Painting an illusion, which fragments of truth break through giving light to the reality under the dense cover? Now there are echoes that we need to keep our society safe. Is everyone not society? Is victim of emotional abuse does not include in society, but we turn our backs not wanting to be involved. Is it only our problem when the issue bubbling under convulse and explode in our faces? Here’s a sad but undeniable truth about abuse in all its, forms, shapes and size, is everywhere. In fact, it has even become part of most people’s way of life.